Episode 24

I finally got my replacement GoPro and I am back with my daily vlogs on this wellness journey! I really missed making content. In this episode I take a walk, have a reflection, go swimming, do step aerobics, do yoga, and hit a fireworks show with the family. Summer doesn’t get better.

Episode 23

This weekend while swimming in the lake, I thought to take some footage of swimming underwater and my GoPro drowned! I lost some footage, but here is the last footage, which is a back and biceps workout. A new GoPro should arrive tomorrow, so until then…enjoy!

Episode 19

I take a hard look at what has made me unwell on this wellness journey, because acknowledging why I feel unwell is part of growing and learning. I hit a biceps and back workout after making space to care for my mental and emotional health.

EPISODE 15

Today was one of my favorite days on this journey so far. I feel that I checked all the boxes, including back and biceps workout, a run, yoga, kayaking, good food, and time with loved ones. It was a win!

Episode 14

Following a shoulders workout and step aerobics, I confronted the same panic I have felt for 22 years after doing cardio. I include some reflection about panic disorder, weigh in, and then make some sage smudge sticks.

EPISODE 8

I was so excited to hit our new home gym yesterday. I went light and did a full body workout. Check out Episode 8 of my wellness journey, which features the workout, a weigh-in, and a reflection. 

Episode 7

I hope that this is the last day that I have to work around an injury. I feel like I am ready to do some light lifting and cardio again, and resume this journey the way that I envisioned it! In Episode 7 I do 90 minutes of yoga, some core work, and have a walk. I think I’m ready.

Episode 6

Oh! The thrilling life of a 42-year-old woman! In this episode I go for a walk, do some gardening, make dinner, and mourn that I still cannot lift weights due to a back injury. It is — in short — precisely what is expected of a middle-aged life…at least today. I hope tomorrow I can crush some goals.

Episode 1

I decided to start a YouTube daily vlog to reflect on my wellness journey of diet, fitness, and mindfulness. I am already four episodes in, but did not post on this website yet! So, stay tuned for the first few episode saturating this site for a moment. Please follow on YouTube if you would like to stay up-to-date (and I will try to remember to post here, too).

April Update

Spring 2022 is off to an excellent start. I really feel as if I am coming out of hibernation in a lot of ways; the most significant way is that this past year I was able to truly be more authentic that I have been in decades — maybe ever. I’ve been standing in my truth, speaking what I believe, and showing my real self even to people in my community. I feel very free.

This spring is meaningful. Firstly, we used some our refund to continue working on our garage-gym space. Finally! We began the project last summer but only got as far as cleaning it out before we ran out of funds. Currently, I am in the process of sealing and painting the space. I purchased some equipment and also some inspirational decor. Also, an air purifier and dehumidifier. We got materials to build a wall and door, and to finish the ceiling. That may be the extent of our funds for this season, but working on the space is exciting!

Phase 2 is coming along

We have been meeting our goal of going to the gym at least twice a week while we work on our home gym. I have been reaching or exceeding my 5-day-a-week workout goals every week. Posing on social media has helped to keep me motivated (FOLLOW ME @moonbodiesjournal and on Facebook).

February 2022 Mindset

Being clear is a good plan for weight loss and lifestyle change. My plan for February 2022 is as follows:

Weight: From 146 to 142

Diet (per day)

  • One meal a day Intermittent Fasting
  • Eating window: 4-7pm, 7 days a week
  • Healthy, whole foods | no sugar
  • 128 oz of water
  • 1200-1400 calories

Exercise (per week)

  • 6 days of cardio | 30-60 minutes
  • 4 days of strength
  • 3-4 walks
  • 2 yoga sessions

Sleep (per day)

  • 8 hours

Accountability

  • Log food in MFP
  • Daily blog (and share in MFP)
  • Weigh-in Wednesdays

Free Class @Meta: Brainiac Step | Monday September 13 | 5pm EST

At Meta I offer one free fitness or yoga class per month, available streaming live. Free access to fitness and wellness classes encourages stronger community and also helps members of that community to feel braver in their bodies. That’s what Meta/Physical Studio is all about!

Join me on September 13, 2021 for 45 minutes of Brainiac Step: a high-energy choreographed aerobics class with inspiring music and memorable moves. The class is beginner-friendly — so feel free to come as you are! — and also good for experienced steppers.

What can I expect in the class?

Step aerobics is a group exercise class that utilizes an elevated platorm (a “step”). The movements mimic walking up and down stairs but with a dance-inspired twist for a high-intensity cardio workout. In Brainiac Step I build choreography with “blocking” so that each class has usually 4 blocks. I teach each block slowly and with clear instruction. The “grand finale” of class is putting the blocks together as a routine.

What do I need to take the class?

A step is recommended, although you can do the class without a step. Some participants use a yoga mat to indicate the area to “step” on and others just use the floor. All movements can be done on the floor. Also, feel free to use one or two risers under your step if you want an extra challenge.

You will also need:

  • a device to access the class (a PC, Mac, phone, tablet, etc.)
  • access to Zoom (it’s free)
  • a webcam so I can see you!
  • speakers that pair with the device you’ll use to take class
  • access to Moxie so you can sign up (it’s easy! just click on the class you want)

What does the choreography look like?

This particular session will be choreography for “Ground Control,” a Level 1 routine. Here is the “grand finale.”

But don’t get overwhelmed! You CAN learn step! Here is a break-down of the some of the moves that make up the blocks:

Three-Knee Repeater
Turn Step

Looking forward to seeing you on Zoom LIVE for this fun class!

The Pleasure of Creating for Yourself Rather than for Others

There are so many wonderful aspects of creating in order to please, entertain, or otherwise serve somebody else; however, creating strictly for your own purposes, to serve yourself, is a function with which many people lose touch as they grow. When one no longer creates for herself then a quest for acceptance from others that seemingly can never be filled, is created.

In this video, I talk about a need to come back to creating as a function of serving the self, and the importance of bringing that into focus once more.

Support me on patreon @ https://www.patreon.com/elanavery/

Wellness Diary: Week 9

At the end of Week 8 I weighed myself and found that I lost a pound after staying steady for weeks. This sent me into a panic, as losing weight usually does.

I am not sure that many can relate to freaking out when the scale goes down; most people celebrate weight loss. But for me, when I see the scale move down I begin to panic. The reasons for this are manifold as all reasonings for complex reactions are: they relate to trauma and, of course, fear.

Nevertheless, there it is.

I lost a pound and spent the next few days in an overeating binge haze, trying ostensibly to regain that weight and more.

My second reaction after this was to vow to never weigh myself again, trying to pin down the symptom of the problem as if fixing THAT would fix the underlying real problem.

Self-awareness goes a long way, and has helped me un-do my ridiculous thinking patterns over the years.

No, stopping weighing myself is not going to take care of my problem. I have learned that avoidance only conjures MORE avoidance, and that when piled on top of my already-pretty-strong trauma around weight, only makes the problem worse.

What needs to be done is what has ALWAYS needed to be done, and continues to GET done: I need to hunker down deep into my anxiety and phobia and trauma and LOOK at what is happening, and FEEL what is happening so that I can understand it. It’s a tough thing to understand, but I DO know what is going on, and I DO know how to fix. I have the key to everthing.

I just need to continue on my journey as a voice inside tells me that I am not perfect enough to continue it. I hear that voice. I acknowledge it. I reach out my arms to hug the girl who speak that way to herself. She can either choose to take that hug or not…but it’s there no matter what, and without judgment for her.

So, I continue on to Week 9, having lost no weight in 9 weeks, having questioned myself time and time again, having thought about quitting this journey….but staying dedicated to myself. Here in Week 9, I’m not giving up because my goals are more than weight loss. My goal is to live my best life, standing in my strength, which means never avoiding my weaknesses, but positioning them as tools to help me know myself better.

I believe that THIS approach is what really changes lives.

Wellness Diary: Week 8, Day 3

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
140.627.4%2438.532.23821
I ate really well yesterday but my weight creeped a tiny little bit. In my life, this has been my standard: when things go really well, at first they look worse before they start looking better. Such is life. In generaly, my journey has been a study of maintenance, as I have hovered around the same weight for 8 weeks.
MovementDurationBurn
 Yoga
Step Aerobics
 60
30
215
251
I tried yoga with a new instructor today and I have say…I HATED the whole class. That is a rare sentiment for yoga, for me…but…there it is. After the first 5 minutes I was very tempted to just leave the class but I stuck it out for the whole hour. It was painful to go through. It was like, workout yoga, which I used to like in my 20s but quickly grew out of. I cannot stand the style of yoga that I did today.

Step aerobics was super fun! I did a new release on Les Mills on Demand (#119, I think), and had SO much fun!
Calorie GoalCaloriesOther Nutrition Goals
 1200-1300 1140 No sugar, small portions
I got a new food scale, and it’s going well. My husband made pasta for lunch today and I felt that I had to eat it even though I would rather completely avoid pasta because it’s a trigger food. He scooped me out about 3 servings, so I had to get the cup measure and recalibrate to 1 cup. My goodness, looking at one cup of pasta is a sad, sad vision. It’s, like, the size of my tooth. It’s enough to make an emotional eater cry.
Self-Care, Parenting, Stress, Joy, Balance, Writing
 Yoga, Blogging
The yoga was good self care and I did some blogging, which was great.

Wellness Diary: Week 8, Day 2

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
140.227.4%2438.532.23821
No change in weight!
MovementDurationBurn
Yoga
Walk
45
30
 97
233
Today was a lovely day of movement! Yoga with Emily is a weekly favorite. It left me with tingles in my body. The walk was really nice out in the cold with the dog.
Calorie GoalCaloriesOther Nutrition Goals
 1200 1086 No sugar, under range
I cannot tell you the last time that I came under my range. Not that this is something that I want to do a lot, but oh my GODDESS — yes! I did such a great job today keeping portion small and NOT overeating. The last time I did that was…2014. So, kudos, friend.
Self-Care, Parenting, Stress, Joy, Balance, Writing
 Writing, Yoga, Snuggles
The yoga, of course, counts as self care, and so does snuggling down with my daughter for our weekly girls’ night. We watched a movie tonight and it was nice. I also got in some writing of my novel: always THE BEST.

Wellness Diary: Week 8, Day 1

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
140.227.4%2438.532.23821
I continue to not lose or gain any weight. I remain around the heaviest weight I have been in my life.
MovementDurationBurn
 Spinning 30 251
I did not want to workout today, as it is my “day off,” but I got on the bike first thin in the morning and spun those wheels for 30 minutes.
Calorie GoalCaloriesOther Nutrition Goals
 1200-1300 1244 No sugar
I had some alcohol today and I also had sugar while I wrapped gifts.
Self-Care, Parenting, Stress, Joy, Balance, Writing
Writing and Gaming
I really lose myself in my writing today. It was wonderful! I wrote a lot of my book and also did some other related writing.

Wellness Diary: Week 7 Day 3

Thanksgiving included a lot of eating, as expected. I started the day by eating cookies and then had a super delicious, healthy dinner, followed by pie. So, there were some good and some not-so-good choices for reaching my wellness goals. I did not get in any movement.

We had such a great holiday!

Today, the day after Thanksgiving, I have mixed feelings about how to move forward. A part of me just wants to focus on my eating, doing small portions and good protein and veggies. The other part of me feels that I should do this plus get in some exercise. But exercising while feeling chubby and full from the day before is not attractive to me.

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
140.427.4%2438.532.23821
I only gained .2 lbs over Thanksgiving. I would consider that a win!
MovementDurationBurn
 Indoor Cycling
The Trip #17
 30 256
I really did not want to exercise today! My bedroom, where I exercise, is currently FULL of STUFF as my husband replaces our bathroom floor. There is a shopvac, floor pieces, the hampers from the bathroom, and more, all over the place! Not motivational at all. But I dragged the bike out and aimed for 45 minutes of spinning — I did 30 minutes.

Calorie GoalCaloriesOther Nutrition Goals
 1200 1165 No sugar, refined carbs
I did an excellent job today, nutrionally. I came in a little bit under range and made healthy choices.
Self-Care, Parenting, Stress, Joy, Balance, Writing
 Blogging, Writing Novel, Time with Friends
I began the day with some blogging and social media work and then spent 20 minutes writing my novel. That always feels really fulfilling. Then, later in the day, some girl friends came by with their kids and we had a great time chatting and having tea.

Week 7, Day 2

Today’s highlight was absolutely Irish Step Dance, as far as movement goes. The day was rainy and I did not get in the walk I had planned. But I had fun dancing.

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
140.227.4%2438.532.23821
My goal is now to lose 5 pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I know that this may seem like a crazy time of year to try to lose any weight at all, but I hope that this mini-goal will keep me motivated. I feel like it is achievable!
MovementDurationBurn
 Irish Step Dance60 minutes 417 
Irish Step Dancing is always a lot of fun. There were more participants tonight due to classes being cancelled for Thanksgiving, so it was super fun. I just did not like wearing the mask, which made breathing hard when things got tough. We did the slip jig and then also another dance (I don’t remember the name) that was quite an exercise for the brain.
Calorie GoalCaloriesOther Nutrition Goals
 1200-1300 1343 No sugar
The day began super well, and I did very well all the way up until dance was over. My husband surprised me by ordering take out from Texas Roadhouse, and I was really disappointed by this even though it was a gesture of love. I expected that we would be having meatballs and veggies for dinner but instead he ordered me prime rib (which I do not like — he meant to order ribeye, which is my favorite), and a baked potato (I would have ordered brocoli). I was absolutely starving for dinner because I ate under my calories for breakfast and lunch and had just burned a ton of calories dancing, and I did not want to hurt his feelings by not eating the meal. So, I ate it. And I would have come in just at my range, but then I felt “off the rails” and had couple bites of the peppermint bark that we got for making gingerbread houses. I only had a couple bites, but that was enough to put me over my range for the day, and also undid my goal today of avoiding sugar.
Self-Care, Parenting, Stress, Joy, Balance, Writing
 Knitting and watching a show with my daughter; making a video blog post; singing Christmas songs; physical.
I ran into a situation today in which I felt really strung out. The thought of homeschooling today was causing stress, and despite getting 9 hours of sleep I felt really tired. My husband suggested that I just listen to my body and “why not snuggle down and do some knitting and watch a show?” I really rarely ever watch anything unless I have alone time late at night, maybe once a month. But, I took his advice and snuggled down with my daughter. We both did some knitting and we watched a show. After that, I actually did feel rejuvenated and was able to be present for the rest of the day. We made some gingerbread houses and just skipped the formal learning for the day. I also had to run some errands today, including having a medical physical.

Week 7, Day 1

I realize that my plan for weightloss is not going very well. I am 7 weeks in and have not lost one pound, in fact I have gained weight. Of course, the plan is not just about losing weight but also about getting in movement, taking time for myself, eating the right foods, staying hydrated, and more. But at the end of the day, I like to see the outcome of my work showing on my body. If I am honest then I know that I have been overeating for the entire 7 weeks because I am an emotional eater and a binge eater. Some days I’ve had it all under control, but other days I am truly out of control.

With the holiday season here I have been eating sweets and going out to eat more than I would like. I’ve had a feeling of overwhelm most days, getting the house decorated, managing household things, doing mom things, doing work things, trying to cut out time for personal things. There is no break — it’s just relentless. I need better strategies for managing everyday life.

Although I do not generally like using strict schedules and plans — because I think that living should be more organic — they can work for me when I’m struggling. I am considering creating a plan for myself that has more boundaries, in the coming days.

Today is Tuesday and I did some movement today. I did an hour of power yoga with Lisa and burned 157 calories.

I did not log in my food.

What is Karma, and Why Can it Feel Heavy?

I am so excited to release my first video blog post on my “Heavy Karma” YouTube Channel!

This week I present my understanding of “karma” because I wanted to explain why the channel is named “Heavy Karma,” and also the foundational idea that drives the creation of ths channel and the process.

I need to develop an intro and outro for my videos, obviously, and also use a better camera! But thanks for watching!

Week 6: Days 1-5

This week I felt as if I was in a fog, literally all week long. I did not log in my food — not because I was “off the rails” but really just because I forgot. This was an auto-pilot kind of week, of which I have not experienced in a long time. I felt lethargic, disconnected, really tired. I had my period this week, so this may have been why, although I usually would get these symptoms during PMS, which is the week before my period hits.

It has just been a strange week, as if I have not been home.

I did a lot of introspection this week, and made some big decisions. I suspect that this emotional work was taxing on my physical aparatuses, and this may be why I showed up the way I did.

There haven’t been any negative feelings or struggles…just extreme tiredness and forgetfulness. Somehow, though, I managed to get in some movement, though as I write about it I can hardly remember what I did or how I felt.

Monday

On Monday I had a big epiphany about a situation that has been haunting me for 30 years or more. It’s always in the back of my mind and I never know how to deal with it. But on Monday, something really clicked for me and I dealt with this issue in a way I had never dealt with it before. I even made a video in which I expressed my feelings concerning this speed bump in my life. It was very exhausting and left me feeling quite empty for a bit of time, but I do feel that in the bigger picture, this was fruitful work. Now that I write out this reflection…no wonder I’ve had the week that I did! Oh my goodness.

I did a bit of yoga with Traci and it felt nice.

I finished the day with 30 minutes of Yoga Nidra/Meditation with Amy. It was beautiful and really helped me to assimilate the spiritual/psychological work that I did that day. But after the meditation I had a splitting headache for the night and had to go to bed early.

Tuesday

The only movement that I got in on Tuesday was walking the dog for 30 minutes and then a 15 minute excursion down to the lake with my daughter for a homeschool project in Geology. I managed to burn a little over 200 calories. This was a heavy flow day and I wanted to do yoga but I just did not want the back-flow in my Diva Cup, so I avoided it. I logged food in the beginning of the day but then just forgot about the rest of the day.

Wednesday

By Wednesday, I was feeling a little bit more present in my body again. I had a 40 minute walk and burned 228 calories. And then I went to Irish Step Dance that night and danced for 60 minutes to burn 346 calories. It was a big burn day for me, and active. The dancing was really fun.

Thursday

On Thursday I did a nice power yoga session with Lisa. I have not done a class with her since March. It was so nice to connect with her and her style again. The yoga that I’ve done this week helped me to connect a bit more, but I continue to move toward integrating my big movements from Monday.

Friday

I woke up feeling the heaviness/disconnect/whatever that I’d been feeling since Monday. But I tried out Les Mills Body Jam in the morning, doing the techno release. It was so much fun that I felt, for a few minutes, that I was releasing some “gunk” (Lisa’s work in yoga from Thursday). I did 20 minutes of dance followed by 5 minutes of core to burn 218 calories.

I am not sure what more — if anything — the week holds for me, but I hope to bring my goals into focus next week, carrying forward the work I did on some long-standing issues at the start of this week.

Week 5, Days 2-5

This week was a mess in terms of getting in time to reflect, breathe, or sit down to write a blog post. Somehow, even with my quadriceps injury continuing to heal, I managed to get in some movement almost every day. The week was full of moments in which I had to “pop the hood” and examine/identify my emotions so that I could make a more conscious choice to overeat or not.

Tuesday

Tuesday I went for a walk in the forest for 30 minutes and burned 184 calories. The weather was beautiful and I spent some time at the beach with my daughter enjoying the sun.

I had an excellent day nutritionally, eating well and mindfully and even coming in a little bit under my calorie goal.

Wednesday

Wednesday was a rough one emotionally, as my daughter had a lot of struggles that affected me. I did some self-care with 45 minutes of yoga (127 burn) and then I did my Irish step dance class for 60 minutes with a burn of 316. I had so much fun and even though I could not lift my heels as high because of my injury, I loved it.

Nutritionally the day was great and again I came in a little bit under my range.

Thursday

On Thursday I wanted to give my quadricip a rest so I did BodyPump upper body only, for 26 minutes with 127 burn. I picked up Pho takeout and was still able to stay only a tiny bit above my calorie range. I was happy about that.

Friday

On Friday, the day really got away from me. I did not make one entry in my food journal, but I believe that I stayed within a healthy range despite that. I began the day with some BodyCombat for 28 minutes with a 218 burn. It was a fun workout.

Overall, I did not expect much from this week but ended up doing better than I expected although not as great as would be ideal for me.

Week 5, Day 1

Well, I have had a revelation that I have reached a low place at which I feel there is an opportunity for growth and for learning. I made a post earlier today titled ” Food and Other Addictions” that explains this.

Every Sunday when my daughter leaves to go with her father, I spiral out of control with my eating. Obviously it is related to my emotional relationship to food.

I no longer wish to have this relationship.

I seek something healthier and more functional in my life. Of course, I realize that this takes a lot of time and that I have already spent more than 25 years on working through my food addiction/emotional associations. But the work is never done, and when the cycles repeat, there is an opportunity to reach higher and learn more.

Movement ActivityDurationBurnNotes
Spinning
Weights
 10
10
50
59
 
I really craved spinning today on the bike; I wanted to listen to some motivational music and just cruise. However, because my quadriceps is still healing, I was not sure if I would be able to ride. I stayed in the seat the entire time and kept the resistance low to moderate, and pace moderate. However, right around the 10 minute mark I began to feel an uncomfortable tightening in my quad, so I stopped immediately. I finished up with some weights, doing upright rows, clean and press, dead lifts, and biceps curls with my 30 lbs barbell, and then some floor work with crunhes and a couple leg lifts (to see how my quad would handle that — it felt good).
Calorie GoalCaloriesNotes
 1200-1300  
I have experienced several days of binge eating, and this prompted me to realize that I do not want this for myself. I am being triggered more frequently to overeat and this is most likely because I am not addressing some uncomfortable feelings and I am not honoring my wellness journey. I need to look deeper and connect more with my needs at this time. Today, however, I did well resetting and reminding myself that I can treat my body well.
Daily Self CareNotes
Facial Waxing
Facial Moisturizing
Yoga Nidra
Journaling
Gaming
 
I was more conscious of little acts I could do today in order to honor myself. Not having to meet my parental duties today, of course, provides more space for that but I am hoping that with more practice I can integrate more self care into every day of the week.
Bowel MovementNotes
 1 
I had a bowel movement this morning that was substantial. I am trying to stay hydrated, as usual, but not really ever reaching that goal — not by a long shot. Today I drank about 30 oz of water.
GoalsMini Goals
Reach 125 poundsLose .5-1 pound per week
Be more present with parentingMake mental and emotional space, spend quality time
Manage stress betterUse meditation and affirmations; feel feelings
Balance work/play/family lifeDo all things, every day, rather than bingeing
Feel more joyDiscover new passions and feed established interests
My present weight loss goal is to reach 137 pounds. I think that is realistic and I like taking larger goals and breaking them down. Today I managed stress better than I have in a long time. I had a lot of balance today between work, self care, and personal time.

Week 4, Day 5

Somehow I actually got in 5 days of movement despite my healing quadricep. On Friday I did a morning yoga class with Katy. There were times that the movement was too much on my leg but I was able to modify some postures.

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
 138.8 27.3 24    
Moving the scale is really hard. I am not looking for any big change for another couple weeks. My body takes quite a lot of time to shed weight.
Movement ActivityDurationBurnNotes
 Yoga
Walk
 50
30
 168
209
 
The yoga was so great. I have not done a class with Katy in a long time — since March — so it was nice to hold space with her again. The class was pretty full and that energy was good. The walk with with my daughter in the woods and we did lots of imaginative storytelling and then she collected some magickal water from our favorite place, the “heart of the woods.”
Calorie GoalCaloriesNotes
 1200-1300 1730 
My eating today was not ideal. We celebrated Friday Family Fun Night together and decided to go out to eat. I did well at dinner, ordering a steak and vegetable sides. If I had not included in sweets when I came home, I would have stayed fairly in range. But I did some emotional eating and that spiralled into two more days of eating poorly.
Daily Self CareNotes
Yoga 
I did not get in much time for self care today; but I can count the yoga as some self care.
Bowel MovementNotes
 0 
I again had no bowel movements today. I tried to focus on hydration but only drank about 16 ounces of water.
GoalsMini Goals
Reach 125 poundsLose .5-1 pound per week
Be more present with parentingMake mental and emotional space, spend quality time
Manage stress betterUse meditation and affirmations; feel feelings
Balance work/play/family lifeDo all things, every day, rather than bingeing
Feel more joyDiscover new passions and feed established interests
Today was a joyful day. Spending that quality time with family was great. I was also very present in my role of parent today.

Week 4, Day 4

Movement ActivityDurationBurnNotes
 Weight Lifting 24 123 
I forgot how much I have always loved weight training. I laid out some weights and did a great session, including triceps press, dumbell flys, triceps dips, resistance band pulls, crunches, hammer curls, wide rows, and overhead press. It felt really good. The triceps dips feel completely different when you have a belly!
Calorie GoalCaloriesNotes
 1200-1300 1353 
I did some stress eating today, related to difficult emotions, as usual. I was not proud to eat the jello or square of chocolate, which I went to when I felt disappointment today.
Daily Self CareNotes
Gaming
Painting Nails
 
I played 20 minutes of The Sims 4 today. I also did some work. I ate lunch outside in the treehouse with my daughter. We also painted our nails today. I think that I tried to strike a balance today and did a good job.
Bowel MovementNotes
 0 
I have not had a bowel movement on my own for a long time now. I am beginning to feel the heaviness and yuckiness of it. Constipation has always been a problem in my family. I admit that I just cannot seem to drink more than, like, 16 oz of water a day despite always having a goal to drink half my body weight in ounces. It just never happens. I have tried all the tricks.
GoalsMini Goals
Reach 125 poundsLose .5-1 pound per week
Be more present with parentingMake mental and emotional space, spend quality time
Manage stress betterUse meditation and affirmations; feel feelings
Balance work/play/family lifeDo all things, every day, rather than bingeing
Feel more joyDiscover new passions and feed established interests
I do not think that I really tackled any of these goals today. I had a lot to accomplish around the house and with cleaning up the Halloween party mess since today was finally warm enough and the ice has melted.

Week 4, Day 3

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
 140.8      
Weighing myself this morning was disheartening. When the scale creeps up, I feel depressed because I associate parts of my worth with my weight, despite decades of trying to undo that association. I know that my lack of bowel movements has something to do my weight gain between yesterday and today, so I need to focus on getting more fiber and vegetables and water today.
Movement ActivityDurationBurnNotes
Yoga
Walk
 45
35
 95
 
After my walk I understood that I could not do dance tonight because my quadricep was aching. I felt disappointment about that, but was glad that I am able to move right now at all. The yoga session with Emily was blissful, as always. I find that moving into postures with the extra weight around my midsection makes yoga a bit more challenging than before.
Calorie GoalCaloriesNotes
 1200-1300 1195 
I actually felt incredibly full today, and not in a good way; I felt full in a way, like, “I have not had a decent bowel movement in a long time.” I felt all the toxicity that comes along with that feeling. I ate well, though, and stayed in range.
Daily Self CareNotes
 Hygeine Plucking eyebrows, moisturizing legs
I have been noticing that my legs looks really scaly (dry) lately, so I moisturized them, which made me feel like I was taking care of myself. I also plucked my eyebrows, which I have not done in about 7 months. It did not need much upkeep since I like to keep them full, but taking care of my appearance a little bit motivates me to focus more on external beauty sometimes.
Bowel MovementNotes
 0 
Constipation is a regular and often long-lasting problem for me. I did not do any magnesium supplementation today but tried to drink more water than usual.
GoalsMini Goals
Reach 125 poundsLose .5-1 pound per week
Be more present with parentingMake mental and emotional space, spend quality time
Manage stress betterUse meditation and affirmations; feel feelings
Balance work/play/family lifeDo all things, every day, rather than bingeing
Feel more joyDiscover new passions and feed established interests
The morning began with taking care of business as I spent a lot of time on the phone with the bank. That immediately dropped me into a feeling of disequilibrium. I then headed into homeschooling. Yoga gave me a nice mental and emotional outlet that brought a feeling of wellness. The day was very varied in activities. I felt like I was moving cleanly between activities and mindsets today.

Week 4, Day 2

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
 139.4 27.4% 24.1 38.5in 32.2in 38in 21in
Today, the stats did not move from yesterday. I wonder if I am going to be able to lose at least .5lb a week.
Movement ActivityDurationBurnNotes
 Yoga 45 min 95 
I took a risk today and decided to see if I could manage doing yoga. My quadricep continues to feel better every day. I can bend it slightly now and put full weight on it. Five days have passed since I tore it. The yoga session was slow and compassionate, and I was able to even get into goddess and warrior positions in which my quadriceps were bent heavily.
Calorie GoalCaloriesNotes
 1200-1300 1233 
I was pleased with my nutrition today. I ate a balanced diet and I stayed in my range.
Daily Self CareNotes
 Yoga 
The yoga session today counted as self care, and it helped me to balance the rest of my day.
Bowel MovementNotes
 1 
I took some OxyClean supplement (magnesium) last night and I had a bowel movement this morning.
GoalsMini Goals
Reach 125 poundsLose .5-1 pound per week
Be more present with parentingMake mental and emotional space, spend quality time
Manage stress betterUse meditation and affirmations; feel feelings
Balance work/play/family lifeDo all things, every day, rather than bingeing
Feel more joyDiscover new passions and feed established interests
I attempted more balance today. I did work in the morning, the homeschooling. I then moved into yoga and then I spent the rest of the day painting the living room and rearranging the furniture. I was glad that I was able to accomplish so much today.

Week 4, Day 1

Well, last week finished poorly despite my very strong efforts. On Friday I knelt down to put a jacket on my dog (first snow and cold weather) for our walk, and I tore a muscle in my quadricep. That the muscle tore was not surprising since it was sore already for over a week, and I had just been doing more activities, including dance and step aerobics. Something was bound to give. But it gave SO HARD that I wound up screaming and crying for almost 10 minutes because I felt such excruciating pain radiating down my leg.I “whited out” in pain.

I had to lay in bed for the day. I felt down and ate a lot.

The next day was extremely stressful because I had to hobble around to set up for our Halloween gathering. I spent about 6 hours in constant movement just getting the yard set up with decorations and games, getting food ready, going shopping for last minute items — my leg was KILLING me and I was so stressed out on top of the pain. I ended up eating a lot of candy and generally bingeing on unhealthy foods and alcohol.

For the rest of the weekend I just let my leg heal. I ate more candy. My head was not in the game because I was feeling down.

As I begin Week 4, I am like…what the hell am I doing? I am into this “program” for 4 weeks and I feel worse off than when I began. I have gained weight and have next to nothing to show for this time.

Something needs to shift. I decided to create a new template to use each day:

Daily Check-In

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
 139.4 27.4% 24.1 38.5in 32.2in 38in 21in
At my heaviest I was 144 so 139.4 is not the worst weight I have been; however, it is disheartening to see the scale that high.
Movement ActivityDurationBurnNotes
 Yoga Nidra 30 0 
Yoga Nidra was excellent tonight, with Amy. I went into a deep meditation, feeling tingly energy all through my body. It was an excellent way to decompress.
Calorie GoalCaloriesNotes
 1200-1300 1298 
I did allow a serving of ice cream tonight but stayed within range. I am also almost reached my daily iron goal, which rarely happens.

Daily Self CareNotes
 Yoga Nidra 
The Yoga Nidra session was good self-care today. I continued to struggle with how to stay positive with my quadricep injury. I also had a deep conversation with my husband about our current situation, so that was good for my stress level.
This was my still shot in position, testing the camera angle, before the class began.
Bowel MovementNotes
 4 
I used OxyClean supplementation today in order to have a bowel movement because I had not had one in five days.
GoalsMini Goals
Reach 125 pounds Lose .5 – 1 pound per week
Be more present with parenting Put aside mental and emotional space
Manage stress better Meditate and do yoga, feel feelings
Balance work/play/family life Make time for all things
Feel more joy Explore interests and passions
Today I handled my stress pretty well. Although, I felt overkill with gaming, as right now I only have one day to game. I also did too much work and had too much screen time. My daughter was with her father, so I did not have to balance parenting.

Week 3, Day 4

Today’s Movement

I was extremely sore today from dance last night. This old body requires a lot more stretching before dancing than I did, and my quadriceps are feeling it. However, I did 27 minutes of step aerobics because I love it so much. 220 calories burned.

I was jumping all around and had a great time!

Today’s Nutrition

I did a great job today. I got some good food in and stayed in range.

I am feeling motivated for the rest of the week!

Week 3, Day 3

I think that today, this third day of Week 3 is kind of like the first day of the program. I finally got up the courage to weigh myself this morning. As I suspected, I had gained back almost all of the weight of my heaviest weight of all time. I just 2 pounds lighter now than the heaviest I have ever been. So, that is disappointing. On the other hand, it also gives a lot to work toward.

How easy gaining all my weight back has been! All it takes is days of homeschooling, stress, struggles to manage work time, and lack of personal time and suddenly…well, it’s easy. As an emotional eater I have no problem eating my feelings. I’ve been feeling exhausted, chubby, and sometimes overwhelmed. Doing things as someone who is borderline overweight is challenging, but I keep encouraging myself to move forward.

Today’s weight: 140.2

Today’s Movement

I began today with 25 minutes of practicing Irish Step because I had my first actual class tonight. Last week, you may remember, I had to cancel attending my first class because of a migraine. Practice was good. I see from the videos that I need to work a lot on keeping my arms behind my back, as they peek out the sides of my hips! But I did a few warmups (and also practiced the jig, which is not pictured here). I felt ready for my class.

Irish Step Practice: 179 calories

Here are some excepts from my practice. I am still in my pajamas!

After lunch and homeschool I did 45 minutes of Yoga with Emily on Ompractice.

Yoga: 95 Calories

Then I headed to the studio for an hour of Irish Step. We learned a Halloween dance for the Monster Bash on Friday, and we also learned the slip jig, which was very challenging for me. The other students have been working on it already for two weeks — I felt like my brain was melting!

Irish Step: 386 Calories

Today’s Nutrition

Nutrition today was pretty good. I ate my dinner when I came home from dance.

Week 3, Days 1 and 2

Week 3 began well with a no-sugar day after I had spent the last week eating a lot of Halloween candy. After the challenges of Week 2 I was ready for some grounding and recentering.

Day 1 Movement

Mondays are currently my “days off” from parenting and they tend to be challenging days. I do the bulk of my teaching work on Mondays, so a lot of energy is expended on the computer. We had some training on Zoom for two hours, too, which made for a very “heady” and tech-centered day. By 7:30 I was craving body movement so badly. Although I rarely like to exercise at night, I already had my spinning shoes on before the meeting ended — I was ready to ride! I did a smooth 20 minute session. My highlight song tonight was Dua Lipa’s “Blow Your Mind,” which I really enjoyed.

I burned 162 calories and had a good sweat going. Then I cooled down and stretched and logged in to Ompractice to do 30 minutes of Yoga Nidra with Amy. It was profound. The meditation bordered on hypnosis and I felt incredibly relaxed and transcendent.

Day 1 Nutrition

My goal was to avoid sugar. I met that goal today and plan to sustain it through the week until Halloween, when I feel OK about having a couple pieces. I did not eat too healthy today, but I was glad that I did what I set out to do.

Day 2 Movement

I did 45 minutes of Yoga with Emily this morning and burned 95 calories. Then I took Samsara for a walk for 35 minutes and burned 179 calories. The weather is getting a little bit chilly now but the forest was really beautiful.

Day 2 Nutrition

I did great meeting my protein goal today and also avoided sugar. I was happy with the way that the day went, nutritionally. It was the best day I have had in awhile.

So far, Week 3 feels good!

Week 2, Days 4 and 5

I am honestly surprised that I HAD a days 4 and 5 this week! Go, me! If you have been following along in my Heavy Karma blog then you know that this week has been one of the worst weeks emotionally and food-wise (of course, because I am an emotional eater) that I have experienced in a very long time (about a year, at least). I had very low expectations for this week and I did very poorly with my diet (ate a lot of Halloween candy). My fitness focus has been mostly on yoga because I was in deep need of restorative movement and connection.

Day 4 Movement

We celebrated a birthday in the family today and played so many physical games, such as capture the flag, frisbee, football, and more. As I write this post, I am three days out and my quadriceps are still sore! I personally did a lot of sprinting and jogging. It was so much fun and it was great movement and exercise!

Day 5 Movement

I rejoined Ompractice on Day 5. Last year, around this time, I joined as well and did not leave the program until March. I like doing the live virtual yoga classes in Fall and Winter because it brings a sense of community to me during a period that my friends tend to hibernate (and so do I). Today I did a hour-long yoga class with Traci. The class was the fullest I have ever done in my experience with Ompractice with around 13 students. I suppose that since I left the program in March many people have joined due to the pandemic. I liked it! I renewed my membership for a year.

Day 4 Nutrition

My “nutrition” has been anything but lately. I realize that my program in Week 2 has been horrendous due to emotional struggles. I went over my calorie range today and also did not eat a whole lot of healthy foods. I am hoping for a better week next week.

Day 5 Nutrition

I went over my calorie range today because I binged on Halloween candy. My husband and I usually indulge in pasta on Sunday nights and I had planned on NOT doing this because I indluged in candy. However, once it was there in front of me, I jumped right into the bowl.

I do feel that I am ready to re-center my goals in Week 3. I feel committed and inspired to see some better outcomes next week.

Week 2, Day 3

Today I was still feeling some of the residual effects of the retinal migraine I experienced earlier this week. I felt ready to push in a workout but I decided to hold back for one more day and just focused on yoga and meditation.

Today’s Workout

As usual lately I practiced yoga while my daughter did some Prodigy Math in the background. Through the years I have gotten quite accustomed to meditating and doing mindful activities in the midst of loud noise and constant interuption!

My yoga was fluid and grounded today. I could feel the long duration since the last time I practiced yoga consistently, which was back in March. I would like to recommit to doing yoga at least twice a week as part of my new wellness program here.

Today I did a nice range of movements to bring flexibility to my mind and body.

Today’s Nutrition

I cannot remember that last time that I felt so much stress for such a long duration as I have these last two weeks. The bulk of the stress comes from setting some boundaries with difficult people in my life right now, and having to deal with the responses to those. I know that I am doing the right thing for myself and for my daughter — but the stress that comes from having to deal with some issues that I have put off for too long in the hopes that positive change would happen on its own, is heavy.

I do feel like this challenging period is coming to an end, finally! Yet, my eating has been tough to control, as I am an emotional eater, a food addict, and a binge eater. Today I went just a little bit over my range, but I did not eat very healthy.

Also, this week I only got in 3 days on my wellness journey rather than my goal of 5 days. I know that this is due to the immense challenges and also due to the migraine that took 3 solid days out of my usual schedule.

Week 2, Day 2

Yesterday was to be Day 2 of the second week of my wellness program, but I was hit with a rare retinal migraine, which I have not experienced for over a year now. There was a time for a span of almost 20 years, during which I experienced these debilitating migraine attacks frequently. They always begin with aura in my right eye and then I lose my sight in the right eye. Then I experience aphasia (which can last for hours), then numbness in my limbs, then vomitting, and then — when the experience is really bad — I lose control of my bowels. These early phases can last anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. After the first phase, then the migraine begins to set in. It is only on my left side and usually renders me completely unable to move or do anything for the rest of the day. There was a time when this would happen a couple times a week.

During the last four years I have made enormous strides in learning tools for helping me “stop” the attack at the aura stage so that it does not progress at all through the other symptoms. I do, however, still have to go through the migraine that results. This was the case yesterday.

I have come to learn through the years that my triggers for these attacks involve some emotional and physical components. Usually they happen when I have done strenuous exercise. Usually, it will happen before my period or right at the beginning of my cycle. And, usually there is some stress-related emotional charge happening at the time, which I have been working through.

The day was to be my first formal day at Irish Step Dance class, so I was really bummed when my husband had to notify the instructor that I was not able to attend. My focus for the day was just to get through the day to the best of my ability. There was a lot of drama to deal with — more than usual, unfortunately — and I had to slur my way through some speaking as I had to attend to some issues. I went to bed early and got 10 hours of rest.

This morning I felt a lot better but I continue to feel the “aftermath” of the attack. My brain is foggy, my eyes are slumped down, my head is sore, and feel very exhausted even though I got plenty of sleep. I know that I have to take it easy although I want to workout and push the limits. I have learned to take these cues from my body when it tells me that is enough is enough. I suspect that I know exactly what the problem is, emotionally, right now, and I plan on slowing down and dealing with these stressful issues right now even though they are difficult.

Today’s Workout

I eased into this recovery day with some mindful yoga and meditation, taking my time to enjoy each delicious movement. I focused on gentle, intentional breath for healing. For the meditation, I found my inner light and worked that through my chakras, paying particular attention to the heart and throat, which are the areas that I need attention the most through this emotionally-charged moment in time.


Also, I reached out to a friend and we are meeting today just so I can have a little extra care today, mentally.

I had a great walk in the beautiful forest this afternoon. I love this time of year!

Today’s Nutrition

Lately I have been staying within my calorie range but eating a lot of chocolate — one day I even just had 600 calories of chocolate for dinner. My goal has not really yet been health-focused as much as it has been range-focused since I do generally eat very healthy (unless I am grappling with emotional turmoil, as I have been lately, then I tend to binge eat). My focus remains on staying within a healthy range of calories right now, but the next step is to deal more directly with my binge-eating moments.

Week 2, Day 1

I intended to take two days off from fitness in a row at the end of Week 1, but that did not happen. The weather was too beautiful and I ended up going out for a walk with friends on Saturday and a super long hike with my husband on Sunday. So, Monday was my only real rest day. I began my second “week” on Tuesday. During these three untracked days my food was OK. I was in range for two days but ate a lot of halloween candy.

Today’s Workout

The day was not good, emotionally. I had a lot of things to deal with and needed to do a lot of self-care to be able to do all the things that needed to be done. I was exhausted, angry, sad, and frustrated at various points. I planned to workout all day but by the time evening came, I still had had no space for working out. So, when one of my zoom links for a meeting did not work and I could not get in touch with anyone to remedy the problem, I just got on my bike and did 30 minutes while continuing to check my phone and email. That was all I could fit in today.

I spent almost half the workout at peak heart rate, which is something that I have not done in many years — probably almost ten. I used exercise today the way I used to use it before I rehabbed my exercise addiction: as an outlet for anger. I do not like using fitness this way. It was not a comfortable expression.

Today’s Nutrition

Because I had so much going on today I made chili in the crockpot early this morning so the family could eat and I could still get done everything on the agenda. I barely had time to do any eating today, really. It was just such a hectic and tumultuous day: one that is rare. But I came in under my calorie goals.

I could not sleep well when the day was done. Hoping tomorrow is a better day.

Week 1, Day 6

Today was a day off for me. The majority of movement for the day came from housework and walking with some friends around the lake. We had a little fire in the backyard while our girls did some Just Dance inside. It was really nice.

Today’s Workout

I would not call the walk today a workout, but it did burn 116 calories!

Today’s Nutrition

I stayed in range today. My husband made dinner and we all snuggled down on the couch for our continuing Halloween (family-friendly) movie night. I was happy with how the day went, with plenty of laughs, beautiful weather, a food diary in range, and some gentle movement.

Lunch was definitely the highlight, with some haddock over a bed of veggies.

Week 1, Day 5

I embarked on a new dance journey today! I signed up for Irish Step Dancing at my friend’s studio and had a private lesson before I join the regular adult class (which has been underway for two months already). I loved learning how to dance; it was so much fun and such a challenge.

Today’s Workout

Waiting to workout until the evening was difficult; I spent more of the morning and afternoon feeling like I should have been working out. But I was glad that I waited until my lesson because I needed the energy. The lesson was long (2 hours) and slow-moving because my teacher was trying to catch me up on two months-worth of steps. It was a workout for my brain, for real. But I really loved the style.

Here I am in the studio at the end of the dance lesson.

While the lesson was two hours, I did not dance that whole time. I would say I spent about half of it dancing. I burned 487 calories. I experienced a lot of interval, as you can see, going high and then stopping and going low in my heart rate.

Today’s Nutrition

Nutritionally today I stayed within range and ate really healthy with a wide array of whole foods.

Week 1: Day 4

Emotionally, today was a drain. There were a lot of challenges to confront in different areas of my life. My goal was to just try not to binge eat, because that is my default for all things uncomfortable.

Today’s Workout

For the workout I did 20 minutes of tap dancing. Tap dancing is an unfamiliar movement for me, and it utilizes my brain in new ways – sometimes it gives me a little headache! This was my second time working through the tap dance warmup on DancePlug. It is SUPER basic but for me, who has never done tap before, it really was difficult!

I burned 126 calories for this little jig, but many more brain cells just trying to get my feet to do it semi-correctly.

Today’s Nutrition

I did avoid a binge today, but I also went over my calorie range by a bit. The foods were healthy and I met my protein goal — but I hope that tomorrow I can stay in range better.

The “extras” were totally from emotional eating due to a visit from my mother and a couple other unsavory experiences today. I did some meditation to help deal with big feelings, and also did some other selfcare throughout the day.

Week 1, Day 3

While my daughter worked on some math this morning (we are homeschooling this year) I got in some movement. True, that I had to be available to help her while she worked through some complex problems, but I certainly worked up a lather. Feeling like I have my priorities straight helps a lot.

Every morning I recite the same affirmation: “I do everything on my plate today and I can do it well.”

Today’s Workout

I did some crosstraining today with 20 minutes of indoor cycling and 10 minutes of strength training. The spinning was intense for me, with intervals that I strove to keep at 70 RPM or higher. Sometimes that was tough, especially after a sprint.

Glistening with sweat!

Strength training was quick and effective. I used a combination of resistance bands and barbell to hit squats, leg lifts, glute squeezes, biceps curl, upright row, and abs.

In all I worked out for 30 minutes and burned 215 calories. Later in the day I went for a 30 minute walk!

Today’s Nutrition

I was nervous about nutrition and calories today, as we had friends over to celebrate a birthday. I knew that I could drink wine and eat cake. So, I tried to save the major calories for dinner. Even still, I ate a bit more cake than I wanted to and went over my calorie goals.

I came in at more than 1600 calories, which is not ideal but also not as horrible as it could have been, or as horrible it has surely been in the past!

Week 1, Day 2

The second day was easier than the first; perhaps this is because I did some dancing today and dance is something that I really love. Fitting a workout in on Tuesdays can be tough because the day is so varied. Even though I had to pause in the middle of my warm-up yoga to bring in groceries, put them away, and do recycling, I was able to come right back to it and pick up where I left off.

Today’s Workout

Yoga is always a great way to warm-up the muscles and get the body, mind, and spirit ready for dancing. I did 38 minutes of yoga.

Video motivates me — I am not sure why. But I feel enthusiastic about fitness when I am doing it with someone, so since I do not have anyone to do it with, video has taken the place of community.

After yoga I moved into some dance.

I wrapped up a dance routine I have learned/practiced once a week for the last three weeks, this morning. This is the first dance routine I have tried to learn in decades! I love dance but I just have not had an opportunity to dance at all in such a long time.

I use DancePlug and this routine is called “Real Life” and is choreographer by Mariah Spears. The routine is beginner-level jazz/funk. It was challenging for me to learn, as I am a beginner-beginner at dance. But I had a great time, as I always do. When you watch the video clip, I hope you laugh with joy because I felt a lot of joy although I did not really nail the routine. Dancing is just about expression and fun for me (though I would like to learn how to jump). I am not sure, though, what the heck was up with me facial expressions! Hahaha!

A little less than half of my dancing was not recorded by my FitBit because I had it, mistakenly, on pause.

In sum, I burned around 150 calories for an hour of working out, which is really not that much at all. But movement is not always about burning a lot of calories but just feeling good.

Today’s Nutrition

There were some emotional reasons to overeat today, as there are every day. But I stayed focused and even said no to some chocolate tonight. I stayed in my calorie range and had some good protein.

Week 1, Day 1

A little movement goes a long way!

– Today’s Focus

Today is a day off from parenting for me, as all Mondays are right now. It is my only “day off” from this mode and so offers some unique considerations. One is that I tend to have big emotions because my child is not here with me, and this often causes me to emotionally eat — read: binge eat. Generally I do not work out on this day, taking it as a total day off to allow my body and mind and spirit to recover from the previous six days in “go mode.”

Since Mondays are such difficult days for me, I wanted to ease into my new program by taking some of the pressure off. Like many people, I place a lot of pressure on myself to be “perfect” and to achieve as much as possible (in ways that can be measured, especially by others). But this Heavy Karma approach that I created for myself is about sitting in these tendencies and accepting them in order to understand them so that I no longer need them.

I am taking my time today to feed my passions! I lost four hours first thing in the morning working on a passion project and was still in my PJs at 1pm. When I began to contemplate how I wanted to move my body, I immediately thought of step aerobics — another passion!

Today’s Workout

I did BodyStep Remix #3: Step to the Party on Les Mills On Demand. I have been LOVING these remixes. This was my first time doing this particular installment. My focus was to just MOVE and to enjoy the movement.

This was my first time making a video of this kind.

The workout had me sweating but it was not my favorite of the series. I burned 377 calories for this 45 minutes of step aerobics (7 of those minutes were at peak heart rate). That’s a good burn for me!

Today’s Nutrition

When thinking about what to eat finally was a factor, I was apprehensive, as I always have been when I have to think about food. I kept reminding myself that moderation is my goal but that a bigger goal is to feel what I feel and learn what needs to be learned.

I logged my food on MFP to keep track of my nutrients and my calorie expenditure. I came in at 1237 calories.

In sum, not a bad day. This was a good way to get on track.