Well, I have had a revelation that I have reached a low place at which I feel there is an opportunity for growth and for learning. I made a post earlier today titled ” Food and Other Addictions” that explains this.
Every Sunday when my daughter leaves to go with her father, I spiral out of control with my eating. Obviously it is related to my emotional relationship to food.
I no longer wish to have this relationship.
I seek something healthier and more functional in my life. Of course, I realize that this takes a lot of time and that I have already spent more than 25 years on working through my food addiction/emotional associations. But the work is never done, and when the cycles repeat, there is an opportunity to reach higher and learn more.
I really craved spinning today on the bike; I wanted to listen to some motivational music and just cruise. However, because my quadriceps is still healing, I was not sure if I would be able to ride. I stayed in the seat the entire time and kept the resistance low to moderate, and pace moderate. However, right around the 10 minute mark I began to feel an uncomfortable tightening in my quad, so I stopped immediately. I finished up with some weights, doing upright rows, clean and press, dead lifts, and biceps curls with my 30 lbs barbell, and then some floor work with crunhes and a couple leg lifts (to see how my quad would handle that — it felt good).
I have experienced several days of binge eating, and this prompted me to realize that I do not want this for myself. I am being triggered more frequently to overeat and this is most likely because I am not addressing some uncomfortable feelings and I am not honoring my wellness journey. I need to look deeper and connect more with my needs at this time. Today, however, I did well resetting and reminding myself that I can treat my body well.
I was more conscious of little acts I could do today in order to honor myself. Not having to meet my parental duties today, of course, provides more space for that but I am hoping that with more practice I can integrate more self care into every day of the week.
I had a bowel movement this morning that was substantial. I am trying to stay hydrated, as usual, but not really ever reaching that goal — not by a long shot. Today I drank about 30 oz of water.
Reach 125 pounds
Lose .5-1 pound per week
Be more present with parenting
Make mental and emotional space, spend quality time
Manage stress better
Use meditation and affirmations; feel feelings
Balance work/play/family life
Do all things, every day, rather than bingeing
Feel more joy
Discover new passions and feed established interests
My present weight loss goal is to reach 137 pounds. I think that is realistic and I like taking larger goals and breaking them down. Today I managed stress better than I have in a long time. I had a lot of balance today between work, self care, and personal time.