Wellness Diary: Week 8, Day 3

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
140.627.4%2438.532.23821
I ate really well yesterday but my weight creeped a tiny little bit. In my life, this has been my standard: when things go really well, at first they look worse before they start looking better. Such is life. In generaly, my journey has been a study of maintenance, as I have hovered around the same weight for 8 weeks.
MovementDurationBurn
 Yoga
Step Aerobics
 60
30
215
251
I tried yoga with a new instructor today and I have say…I HATED the whole class. That is a rare sentiment for yoga, for me…but…there it is. After the first 5 minutes I was very tempted to just leave the class but I stuck it out for the whole hour. It was painful to go through. It was like, workout yoga, which I used to like in my 20s but quickly grew out of. I cannot stand the style of yoga that I did today.

Step aerobics was super fun! I did a new release on Les Mills on Demand (#119, I think), and had SO much fun!
Calorie GoalCaloriesOther Nutrition Goals
 1200-1300 1140 No sugar, small portions
I got a new food scale, and it’s going well. My husband made pasta for lunch today and I felt that I had to eat it even though I would rather completely avoid pasta because it’s a trigger food. He scooped me out about 3 servings, so I had to get the cup measure and recalibrate to 1 cup. My goodness, looking at one cup of pasta is a sad, sad vision. It’s, like, the size of my tooth. It’s enough to make an emotional eater cry.
Self-Care, Parenting, Stress, Joy, Balance, Writing
 Yoga, Blogging
The yoga was good self care and I did some blogging, which was great.

Wellness Diary: Week 8, Day 2

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
140.227.4%2438.532.23821
No change in weight!
MovementDurationBurn
Yoga
Walk
45
30
 97
233
Today was a lovely day of movement! Yoga with Emily is a weekly favorite. It left me with tingles in my body. The walk was really nice out in the cold with the dog.
Calorie GoalCaloriesOther Nutrition Goals
 1200 1086 No sugar, under range
I cannot tell you the last time that I came under my range. Not that this is something that I want to do a lot, but oh my GODDESS — yes! I did such a great job today keeping portion small and NOT overeating. The last time I did that was…2014. So, kudos, friend.
Self-Care, Parenting, Stress, Joy, Balance, Writing
 Writing, Yoga, Snuggles
The yoga, of course, counts as self care, and so does snuggling down with my daughter for our weekly girls’ night. We watched a movie tonight and it was nice. I also got in some writing of my novel: always THE BEST.

Week 7, Day 2

Today’s highlight was absolutely Irish Step Dance, as far as movement goes. The day was rainy and I did not get in the walk I had planned. But I had fun dancing.

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
140.227.4%2438.532.23821
My goal is now to lose 5 pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I know that this may seem like a crazy time of year to try to lose any weight at all, but I hope that this mini-goal will keep me motivated. I feel like it is achievable!
MovementDurationBurn
 Irish Step Dance60 minutes 417 
Irish Step Dancing is always a lot of fun. There were more participants tonight due to classes being cancelled for Thanksgiving, so it was super fun. I just did not like wearing the mask, which made breathing hard when things got tough. We did the slip jig and then also another dance (I don’t remember the name) that was quite an exercise for the brain.
Calorie GoalCaloriesOther Nutrition Goals
 1200-1300 1343 No sugar
The day began super well, and I did very well all the way up until dance was over. My husband surprised me by ordering take out from Texas Roadhouse, and I was really disappointed by this even though it was a gesture of love. I expected that we would be having meatballs and veggies for dinner but instead he ordered me prime rib (which I do not like — he meant to order ribeye, which is my favorite), and a baked potato (I would have ordered brocoli). I was absolutely starving for dinner because I ate under my calories for breakfast and lunch and had just burned a ton of calories dancing, and I did not want to hurt his feelings by not eating the meal. So, I ate it. And I would have come in just at my range, but then I felt “off the rails” and had couple bites of the peppermint bark that we got for making gingerbread houses. I only had a couple bites, but that was enough to put me over my range for the day, and also undid my goal today of avoiding sugar.
Self-Care, Parenting, Stress, Joy, Balance, Writing
 Knitting and watching a show with my daughter; making a video blog post; singing Christmas songs; physical.
I ran into a situation today in which I felt really strung out. The thought of homeschooling today was causing stress, and despite getting 9 hours of sleep I felt really tired. My husband suggested that I just listen to my body and “why not snuggle down and do some knitting and watch a show?” I really rarely ever watch anything unless I have alone time late at night, maybe once a month. But, I took his advice and snuggled down with my daughter. We both did some knitting and we watched a show. After that, I actually did feel rejuvenated and was able to be present for the rest of the day. We made some gingerbread houses and just skipped the formal learning for the day. I also had to run some errands today, including having a medical physical.

Week 6: Days 1-5

This week I felt as if I was in a fog, literally all week long. I did not log in my food — not because I was “off the rails” but really just because I forgot. This was an auto-pilot kind of week, of which I have not experienced in a long time. I felt lethargic, disconnected, really tired. I had my period this week, so this may have been why, although I usually would get these symptoms during PMS, which is the week before my period hits.

It has just been a strange week, as if I have not been home.

I did a lot of introspection this week, and made some big decisions. I suspect that this emotional work was taxing on my physical aparatuses, and this may be why I showed up the way I did.

There haven’t been any negative feelings or struggles…just extreme tiredness and forgetfulness. Somehow, though, I managed to get in some movement, though as I write about it I can hardly remember what I did or how I felt.

Monday

On Monday I had a big epiphany about a situation that has been haunting me for 30 years or more. It’s always in the back of my mind and I never know how to deal with it. But on Monday, something really clicked for me and I dealt with this issue in a way I had never dealt with it before. I even made a video in which I expressed my feelings concerning this speed bump in my life. It was very exhausting and left me feeling quite empty for a bit of time, but I do feel that in the bigger picture, this was fruitful work. Now that I write out this reflection…no wonder I’ve had the week that I did! Oh my goodness.

I did a bit of yoga with Traci and it felt nice.

I finished the day with 30 minutes of Yoga Nidra/Meditation with Amy. It was beautiful and really helped me to assimilate the spiritual/psychological work that I did that day. But after the meditation I had a splitting headache for the night and had to go to bed early.

Tuesday

The only movement that I got in on Tuesday was walking the dog for 30 minutes and then a 15 minute excursion down to the lake with my daughter for a homeschool project in Geology. I managed to burn a little over 200 calories. This was a heavy flow day and I wanted to do yoga but I just did not want the back-flow in my Diva Cup, so I avoided it. I logged food in the beginning of the day but then just forgot about the rest of the day.

Wednesday

By Wednesday, I was feeling a little bit more present in my body again. I had a 40 minute walk and burned 228 calories. And then I went to Irish Step Dance that night and danced for 60 minutes to burn 346 calories. It was a big burn day for me, and active. The dancing was really fun.

Thursday

On Thursday I did a nice power yoga session with Lisa. I have not done a class with her since March. It was so nice to connect with her and her style again. The yoga that I’ve done this week helped me to connect a bit more, but I continue to move toward integrating my big movements from Monday.

Friday

I woke up feeling the heaviness/disconnect/whatever that I’d been feeling since Monday. But I tried out Les Mills Body Jam in the morning, doing the techno release. It was so much fun that I felt, for a few minutes, that I was releasing some “gunk” (Lisa’s work in yoga from Thursday). I did 20 minutes of dance followed by 5 minutes of core to burn 218 calories.

I am not sure what more — if anything — the week holds for me, but I hope to bring my goals into focus next week, carrying forward the work I did on some long-standing issues at the start of this week.

Week 5, Days 2-5

This week was a mess in terms of getting in time to reflect, breathe, or sit down to write a blog post. Somehow, even with my quadriceps injury continuing to heal, I managed to get in some movement almost every day. The week was full of moments in which I had to “pop the hood” and examine/identify my emotions so that I could make a more conscious choice to overeat or not.

Tuesday

Tuesday I went for a walk in the forest for 30 minutes and burned 184 calories. The weather was beautiful and I spent some time at the beach with my daughter enjoying the sun.

I had an excellent day nutritionally, eating well and mindfully and even coming in a little bit under my calorie goal.

Wednesday

Wednesday was a rough one emotionally, as my daughter had a lot of struggles that affected me. I did some self-care with 45 minutes of yoga (127 burn) and then I did my Irish step dance class for 60 minutes with a burn of 316. I had so much fun and even though I could not lift my heels as high because of my injury, I loved it.

Nutritionally the day was great and again I came in a little bit under my range.

Thursday

On Thursday I wanted to give my quadricip a rest so I did BodyPump upper body only, for 26 minutes with 127 burn. I picked up Pho takeout and was still able to stay only a tiny bit above my calorie range. I was happy about that.

Friday

On Friday, the day really got away from me. I did not make one entry in my food journal, but I believe that I stayed within a healthy range despite that. I began the day with some BodyCombat for 28 minutes with a 218 burn. It was a fun workout.

Overall, I did not expect much from this week but ended up doing better than I expected although not as great as would be ideal for me.

Week 5, Day 1

Well, I have had a revelation that I have reached a low place at which I feel there is an opportunity for growth and for learning. I made a post earlier today titled ” Food and Other Addictions” that explains this.

Every Sunday when my daughter leaves to go with her father, I spiral out of control with my eating. Obviously it is related to my emotional relationship to food.

I no longer wish to have this relationship.

I seek something healthier and more functional in my life. Of course, I realize that this takes a lot of time and that I have already spent more than 25 years on working through my food addiction/emotional associations. But the work is never done, and when the cycles repeat, there is an opportunity to reach higher and learn more.

Movement ActivityDurationBurnNotes
Spinning
Weights
 10
10
50
59
 
I really craved spinning today on the bike; I wanted to listen to some motivational music and just cruise. However, because my quadriceps is still healing, I was not sure if I would be able to ride. I stayed in the seat the entire time and kept the resistance low to moderate, and pace moderate. However, right around the 10 minute mark I began to feel an uncomfortable tightening in my quad, so I stopped immediately. I finished up with some weights, doing upright rows, clean and press, dead lifts, and biceps curls with my 30 lbs barbell, and then some floor work with crunhes and a couple leg lifts (to see how my quad would handle that — it felt good).
Calorie GoalCaloriesNotes
 1200-1300  
I have experienced several days of binge eating, and this prompted me to realize that I do not want this for myself. I am being triggered more frequently to overeat and this is most likely because I am not addressing some uncomfortable feelings and I am not honoring my wellness journey. I need to look deeper and connect more with my needs at this time. Today, however, I did well resetting and reminding myself that I can treat my body well.
Daily Self CareNotes
Facial Waxing
Facial Moisturizing
Yoga Nidra
Journaling
Gaming
 
I was more conscious of little acts I could do today in order to honor myself. Not having to meet my parental duties today, of course, provides more space for that but I am hoping that with more practice I can integrate more self care into every day of the week.
Bowel MovementNotes
 1 
I had a bowel movement this morning that was substantial. I am trying to stay hydrated, as usual, but not really ever reaching that goal — not by a long shot. Today I drank about 30 oz of water.
GoalsMini Goals
Reach 125 poundsLose .5-1 pound per week
Be more present with parentingMake mental and emotional space, spend quality time
Manage stress betterUse meditation and affirmations; feel feelings
Balance work/play/family lifeDo all things, every day, rather than bingeing
Feel more joyDiscover new passions and feed established interests
My present weight loss goal is to reach 137 pounds. I think that is realistic and I like taking larger goals and breaking them down. Today I managed stress better than I have in a long time. I had a lot of balance today between work, self care, and personal time.