Episode 43

This was the week before I got sick and also before I chopped off all my hair. It was a good week. I deep cleaned the fridge, reflected about the role of trauma in weight loss, and did my daily workouts.

Episode 40

Another week in the books! I keep wondering if should stop making content altogether, just because it’s so time-consuming. However, I realize, too, that I feel a lot more motivated to stay on my routine and work hard on my workouts when I am recording myself. I guess it’s a good trade-off. Maybe putting in the time to make these videos pays off. For now, I am going to keep them going!

Episode 39

This is my second vlog that encompasses a full week-ish of content. This is the week before we went on vacation to Maine. I actually did not record at all while on vacation, but my husband used my camera on his drone and got some footage that I ended up incorporating into the vlog.

Episode 38

I have noticed that many people who post weightloss | wellness | fitness vlogs tend to have pretty long videos — like, up to 30 minutes. I thought to string together several days’ worth of footage so that my vlogs can be longer. This is my first attempt, and the video only ended up being a little more than 5 minutes long. Oh well! Guess I need to learn to talk more, or record more…

But here is my first weekly vlog post, rich with almost a week’s worth of media.

Episode 37

I was a bit bummed to have lost so much footage from this episode, due to my computer crashing. However, I do feel lucky to have been able to recover what I did from the day. Today I hit a chest and triceps workout, spent some time at a local river, and also watered my plants. Fascinating stuff in the life of a middle-aged woman, for sure.

Today I also researched more successful YouTubers and I see that many of these weight loss and wellness episodes tend to be much longer and be comprised of much more talking to the camera. I think that I may try to shift into this kind of modality — but it won’t be until after Episode 40, at least, because I am still behind in uploading old footage.

Episode 36

I continue to play catch-up on processing videos from weeks ago, amidst trying to recover files from the latest computer crash. This heat wave is really getting to me. But, nevertheless, here is Episode 36 in which there was no heat wave, and I can look back upon that day fondly.

Episode 35

My PC crashed and I lost all my files; after four days of working on getting my computer back up and running, I am finally able to post my content. I was already two weeks behind on posting content, and now I am even farther back. I hope that I can catch up soon! Anway, in this episode I do some reflection on my journey, hit a legs and shoulders workout, and head to the beach for some reading after some delicious food.

Episode 31

We had a fun birthday celebration at Three Sisters Sanctuary. I hit a legs and shoulders workout in the home gym. And I reflected on how I handle stress.

Episode 28

I have taken a couple days off and I am few videos behind on posting. Here is Episode 28 with reflections on my continued gut cleanse, a frozen yogurt bites recipe, and a biceps and back workout.

Episode 26

I wax poetic about taking responsibility for my reality as I float on the lake. Then, I crush a chest and triceps workout, and finally I bring it home with some time with friends.

Episode 24

I finally got my replacement GoPro and I am back with my daily vlogs on this wellness journey! I really missed making content. In this episode I take a walk, have a reflection, go swimming, do step aerobics, do yoga, and hit a fireworks show with the family. Summer doesn’t get better.

Episode 23

This weekend while swimming in the lake, I thought to take some footage of swimming underwater and my GoPro drowned! I lost some footage, but here is the last footage, which is a back and biceps workout. A new GoPro should arrive tomorrow, so until then…enjoy!

Episode 19

I take a hard look at what has made me unwell on this wellness journey, because acknowledging why I feel unwell is part of growing and learning. I hit a biceps and back workout after making space to care for my mental and emotional health.

Episode 14

Following a shoulders workout and step aerobics, I confronted the same panic I have felt for 22 years after doing cardio. I include some reflection about panic disorder, weigh in, and then make some sage smudge sticks.

EPISODE 8

I was so excited to hit our new home gym yesterday. I went light and did a full body workout. Check out Episode 8 of my wellness journey, which features the workout, a weigh-in, and a reflection. 

Episode 7

I hope that this is the last day that I have to work around an injury. I feel like I am ready to do some light lifting and cardio again, and resume this journey the way that I envisioned it! In Episode 7 I do 90 minutes of yoga, some core work, and have a walk. I think I’m ready.

Episode 6

Oh! The thrilling life of a 42-year-old woman! In this episode I go for a walk, do some gardening, make dinner, and mourn that I still cannot lift weights due to a back injury. It is — in short — precisely what is expected of a middle-aged life…at least today. I hope tomorrow I can crush some goals.

Episode 1

I decided to start a YouTube daily vlog to reflect on my wellness journey of diet, fitness, and mindfulness. I am already four episodes in, but did not post on this website yet! So, stay tuned for the first few episode saturating this site for a moment. Please follow on YouTube if you would like to stay up-to-date (and I will try to remember to post here, too).

Wellness Diary: Week 8, Day 3

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
140.627.4%2438.532.23821
I ate really well yesterday but my weight creeped a tiny little bit. In my life, this has been my standard: when things go really well, at first they look worse before they start looking better. Such is life. In generaly, my journey has been a study of maintenance, as I have hovered around the same weight for 8 weeks.
MovementDurationBurn
 Yoga
Step Aerobics
 60
30
215
251
I tried yoga with a new instructor today and I have say…I HATED the whole class. That is a rare sentiment for yoga, for me…but…there it is. After the first 5 minutes I was very tempted to just leave the class but I stuck it out for the whole hour. It was painful to go through. It was like, workout yoga, which I used to like in my 20s but quickly grew out of. I cannot stand the style of yoga that I did today.

Step aerobics was super fun! I did a new release on Les Mills on Demand (#119, I think), and had SO much fun!
Calorie GoalCaloriesOther Nutrition Goals
 1200-1300 1140 No sugar, small portions
I got a new food scale, and it’s going well. My husband made pasta for lunch today and I felt that I had to eat it even though I would rather completely avoid pasta because it’s a trigger food. He scooped me out about 3 servings, so I had to get the cup measure and recalibrate to 1 cup. My goodness, looking at one cup of pasta is a sad, sad vision. It’s, like, the size of my tooth. It’s enough to make an emotional eater cry.
Self-Care, Parenting, Stress, Joy, Balance, Writing
 Yoga, Blogging
The yoga was good self care and I did some blogging, which was great.

Wellness Diary: Week 8, Day 2

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
140.227.4%2438.532.23821
No change in weight!
MovementDurationBurn
Yoga
Walk
45
30
 97
233
Today was a lovely day of movement! Yoga with Emily is a weekly favorite. It left me with tingles in my body. The walk was really nice out in the cold with the dog.
Calorie GoalCaloriesOther Nutrition Goals
 1200 1086 No sugar, under range
I cannot tell you the last time that I came under my range. Not that this is something that I want to do a lot, but oh my GODDESS — yes! I did such a great job today keeping portion small and NOT overeating. The last time I did that was…2014. So, kudos, friend.
Self-Care, Parenting, Stress, Joy, Balance, Writing
 Writing, Yoga, Snuggles
The yoga, of course, counts as self care, and so does snuggling down with my daughter for our weekly girls’ night. We watched a movie tonight and it was nice. I also got in some writing of my novel: always THE BEST.

Week 7, Day 2

Today’s highlight was absolutely Irish Step Dance, as far as movement goes. The day was rainy and I did not get in the walk I had planned. But I had fun dancing.

WeightBody FatBMIHipsWaistBustThigh
140.227.4%2438.532.23821
My goal is now to lose 5 pounds between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I know that this may seem like a crazy time of year to try to lose any weight at all, but I hope that this mini-goal will keep me motivated. I feel like it is achievable!
MovementDurationBurn
 Irish Step Dance60 minutes 417 
Irish Step Dancing is always a lot of fun. There were more participants tonight due to classes being cancelled for Thanksgiving, so it was super fun. I just did not like wearing the mask, which made breathing hard when things got tough. We did the slip jig and then also another dance (I don’t remember the name) that was quite an exercise for the brain.
Calorie GoalCaloriesOther Nutrition Goals
 1200-1300 1343 No sugar
The day began super well, and I did very well all the way up until dance was over. My husband surprised me by ordering take out from Texas Roadhouse, and I was really disappointed by this even though it was a gesture of love. I expected that we would be having meatballs and veggies for dinner but instead he ordered me prime rib (which I do not like — he meant to order ribeye, which is my favorite), and a baked potato (I would have ordered brocoli). I was absolutely starving for dinner because I ate under my calories for breakfast and lunch and had just burned a ton of calories dancing, and I did not want to hurt his feelings by not eating the meal. So, I ate it. And I would have come in just at my range, but then I felt “off the rails” and had couple bites of the peppermint bark that we got for making gingerbread houses. I only had a couple bites, but that was enough to put me over my range for the day, and also undid my goal today of avoiding sugar.
Self-Care, Parenting, Stress, Joy, Balance, Writing
 Knitting and watching a show with my daughter; making a video blog post; singing Christmas songs; physical.
I ran into a situation today in which I felt really strung out. The thought of homeschooling today was causing stress, and despite getting 9 hours of sleep I felt really tired. My husband suggested that I just listen to my body and “why not snuggle down and do some knitting and watch a show?” I really rarely ever watch anything unless I have alone time late at night, maybe once a month. But, I took his advice and snuggled down with my daughter. We both did some knitting and we watched a show. After that, I actually did feel rejuvenated and was able to be present for the rest of the day. We made some gingerbread houses and just skipped the formal learning for the day. I also had to run some errands today, including having a medical physical.

Week 6: Days 1-5

This week I felt as if I was in a fog, literally all week long. I did not log in my food — not because I was “off the rails” but really just because I forgot. This was an auto-pilot kind of week, of which I have not experienced in a long time. I felt lethargic, disconnected, really tired. I had my period this week, so this may have been why, although I usually would get these symptoms during PMS, which is the week before my period hits.

It has just been a strange week, as if I have not been home.

I did a lot of introspection this week, and made some big decisions. I suspect that this emotional work was taxing on my physical aparatuses, and this may be why I showed up the way I did.

There haven’t been any negative feelings or struggles…just extreme tiredness and forgetfulness. Somehow, though, I managed to get in some movement, though as I write about it I can hardly remember what I did or how I felt.

Monday

On Monday I had a big epiphany about a situation that has been haunting me for 30 years or more. It’s always in the back of my mind and I never know how to deal with it. But on Monday, something really clicked for me and I dealt with this issue in a way I had never dealt with it before. I even made a video in which I expressed my feelings concerning this speed bump in my life. It was very exhausting and left me feeling quite empty for a bit of time, but I do feel that in the bigger picture, this was fruitful work. Now that I write out this reflection…no wonder I’ve had the week that I did! Oh my goodness.

I did a bit of yoga with Traci and it felt nice.

I finished the day with 30 minutes of Yoga Nidra/Meditation with Amy. It was beautiful and really helped me to assimilate the spiritual/psychological work that I did that day. But after the meditation I had a splitting headache for the night and had to go to bed early.

Tuesday

The only movement that I got in on Tuesday was walking the dog for 30 minutes and then a 15 minute excursion down to the lake with my daughter for a homeschool project in Geology. I managed to burn a little over 200 calories. This was a heavy flow day and I wanted to do yoga but I just did not want the back-flow in my Diva Cup, so I avoided it. I logged food in the beginning of the day but then just forgot about the rest of the day.

Wednesday

By Wednesday, I was feeling a little bit more present in my body again. I had a 40 minute walk and burned 228 calories. And then I went to Irish Step Dance that night and danced for 60 minutes to burn 346 calories. It was a big burn day for me, and active. The dancing was really fun.

Thursday

On Thursday I did a nice power yoga session with Lisa. I have not done a class with her since March. It was so nice to connect with her and her style again. The yoga that I’ve done this week helped me to connect a bit more, but I continue to move toward integrating my big movements from Monday.

Friday

I woke up feeling the heaviness/disconnect/whatever that I’d been feeling since Monday. But I tried out Les Mills Body Jam in the morning, doing the techno release. It was so much fun that I felt, for a few minutes, that I was releasing some “gunk” (Lisa’s work in yoga from Thursday). I did 20 minutes of dance followed by 5 minutes of core to burn 218 calories.

I am not sure what more — if anything — the week holds for me, but I hope to bring my goals into focus next week, carrying forward the work I did on some long-standing issues at the start of this week.

Week 5, Days 2-5

This week was a mess in terms of getting in time to reflect, breathe, or sit down to write a blog post. Somehow, even with my quadriceps injury continuing to heal, I managed to get in some movement almost every day. The week was full of moments in which I had to “pop the hood” and examine/identify my emotions so that I could make a more conscious choice to overeat or not.

Tuesday

Tuesday I went for a walk in the forest for 30 minutes and burned 184 calories. The weather was beautiful and I spent some time at the beach with my daughter enjoying the sun.

I had an excellent day nutritionally, eating well and mindfully and even coming in a little bit under my calorie goal.

Wednesday

Wednesday was a rough one emotionally, as my daughter had a lot of struggles that affected me. I did some self-care with 45 minutes of yoga (127 burn) and then I did my Irish step dance class for 60 minutes with a burn of 316. I had so much fun and even though I could not lift my heels as high because of my injury, I loved it.

Nutritionally the day was great and again I came in a little bit under my range.

Thursday

On Thursday I wanted to give my quadricip a rest so I did BodyPump upper body only, for 26 minutes with 127 burn. I picked up Pho takeout and was still able to stay only a tiny bit above my calorie range. I was happy about that.

Friday

On Friday, the day really got away from me. I did not make one entry in my food journal, but I believe that I stayed within a healthy range despite that. I began the day with some BodyCombat for 28 minutes with a 218 burn. It was a fun workout.

Overall, I did not expect much from this week but ended up doing better than I expected although not as great as would be ideal for me.

Week 5, Day 1

Well, I have had a revelation that I have reached a low place at which I feel there is an opportunity for growth and for learning. I made a post earlier today titled ” Food and Other Addictions” that explains this.

Every Sunday when my daughter leaves to go with her father, I spiral out of control with my eating. Obviously it is related to my emotional relationship to food.

I no longer wish to have this relationship.

I seek something healthier and more functional in my life. Of course, I realize that this takes a lot of time and that I have already spent more than 25 years on working through my food addiction/emotional associations. But the work is never done, and when the cycles repeat, there is an opportunity to reach higher and learn more.

Movement ActivityDurationBurnNotes
Spinning
Weights
 10
10
50
59
 
I really craved spinning today on the bike; I wanted to listen to some motivational music and just cruise. However, because my quadriceps is still healing, I was not sure if I would be able to ride. I stayed in the seat the entire time and kept the resistance low to moderate, and pace moderate. However, right around the 10 minute mark I began to feel an uncomfortable tightening in my quad, so I stopped immediately. I finished up with some weights, doing upright rows, clean and press, dead lifts, and biceps curls with my 30 lbs barbell, and then some floor work with crunhes and a couple leg lifts (to see how my quad would handle that — it felt good).
Calorie GoalCaloriesNotes
 1200-1300  
I have experienced several days of binge eating, and this prompted me to realize that I do not want this for myself. I am being triggered more frequently to overeat and this is most likely because I am not addressing some uncomfortable feelings and I am not honoring my wellness journey. I need to look deeper and connect more with my needs at this time. Today, however, I did well resetting and reminding myself that I can treat my body well.
Daily Self CareNotes
Facial Waxing
Facial Moisturizing
Yoga Nidra
Journaling
Gaming
 
I was more conscious of little acts I could do today in order to honor myself. Not having to meet my parental duties today, of course, provides more space for that but I am hoping that with more practice I can integrate more self care into every day of the week.
Bowel MovementNotes
 1 
I had a bowel movement this morning that was substantial. I am trying to stay hydrated, as usual, but not really ever reaching that goal — not by a long shot. Today I drank about 30 oz of water.
GoalsMini Goals
Reach 125 poundsLose .5-1 pound per week
Be more present with parentingMake mental and emotional space, spend quality time
Manage stress betterUse meditation and affirmations; feel feelings
Balance work/play/family lifeDo all things, every day, rather than bingeing
Feel more joyDiscover new passions and feed established interests
My present weight loss goal is to reach 137 pounds. I think that is realistic and I like taking larger goals and breaking them down. Today I managed stress better than I have in a long time. I had a lot of balance today between work, self care, and personal time.